Psychosis Inc.

Childhood...never seem to be a topic that cud be forgotten.Cherished them then and cherish them now...only difference ..i cherish them now in my memories.Where to start from... from being a kid who used to play pranks on girls in LKG (like lift their skirts and sometimes unzip their frocks) to flicking sausages and eat them raw from the fridge, were my main activities.Waste time in the bath tub so i dont do my homework ,to, spanking from my dad for not able to write the letter "K" properly...those were the best days of my life...hey i dint steal this line.

                                Anyways i had many experiences where i laughed as well as cried...but i have a hearty laugh about them now.I was in upper kg and it was the winter season in dubai...and people, winters were really cold then.Yeah, and the most exciting part was to wear gloves and jackets and mufflers and hats....i used to transform into a total polar bear..but with a blue uniform.But there was something very unique about this day....it was very stormy ..but my parents no matter what...whatever the situation...the boys attendence should not be harmed... "Pavan, your going to school"... i don remember my reaction to it..but i was all ready n waiting at my balcony...my dad was standin next to me ...waiting to escort me to the bus safely.When we were waiting at the balcony... a huge tree next to my building fell down ...smashing its branches and leaves with immense velocity ...but still my mom was like .... no reaction... i was still going to school.But that day there was one more reason i dint want to go to school..my cousins from bombay were coming down...my fav cousins....how could i be in school when they are at home...NNNOOOOOO!!! anyways ... my bus had come..... my dad took my hand...my mom made me wear my bag and i went down the stairs grumbling and groaning with a long face.... and i guess it wasnt my day...i fell off the stairs .... and all i could hear was...the noise while i was tumbling down the stairs and my mom and dad screaming.... but inspite of dat...my mom was still sendin me school... DAYMNN!!!! I was alright though... i was strong enough to take things like that.Anyways my dad and me walked off the building giving a stare to my mom who was smiling and standing at the balcony...but i had to still groan though.. while reachin towards the bus my bus driver happen to make gestures which logically seemed like he was sayin to go back and not enter the bus...but me and my dad still made it to the entrance of the bus and wanted to confirm his gestures.And this was the 'moment' of the day...the driver informed us that there was no school today and was taking rounds to inform students on different stops.So i ran back home threw my bag ,my clothes and picked a chicken frank and sat down on my sofa waiting for my cousins to come.muahahahaha

She danced on the white sands of Zirwich,
her legs moved very swiftly,
even the rattle snakes coud'nt match her grace.

 

Under the moonlight,
she continued her mystical and mysterious moves,
but no one could find out her intentions.

 

I lay there to figure out what she was doing,
it was not the dance of the Mirqis nor the Riyafus,
they were some swirling moves i have never witnessed.

 

Then came her viscious moves,
where capturing the moment was a fulfilment of a dream,
it seemed like no one was ever going to see this for the next thousand ofyears to come.

 

The sand moved along with her unwillingly,
and danced to her tunes,
and she turned the whole desert into a warping ocean.

 

She screeched into the thin cold air,
like she were calling someone,
was it a howl of revenge or was it a desperate plead?

 

Her eye shone majestically in the dark,
just like the owl in the night,
indeed her eyes looked sharp and nocturnal.

 

I sensed her consuming energy from the surroundings,
and then light began to rip out through her pale skin,
it looked like she was going to explode.

 

The intensity increased ,
the whole ritual seemed like it was never going to end,
and the ball of energy that she managed to form around her continued to increase in size,
i just lay there mesmerized,
with no assurity,
whether i am gonna live or...
die ...if...she explodes.

I watch the place around me,
i can just move my eyes,
and its just fog i can see,
but there it hides,
the unforgotten lies.

 

The lie was the one whom i had loved,
she dances shamelessly to insult me,
and there i knelt so lost and defeated with my head bowed,
she kisses and scratches,
and her terrible passion seemed infinity.

 

Feeling so tired and paralytic,
had a tremendous urge to fight back,
but helplessness had become chronic,
i looked into her eyes.....she wanted me to live in agony,
and there she threw at me a rotten zwieback.

 

I wandered in my thoughts and strained my mind,
my hatred for her overshadowed the love for her on every breath i took in abhore,
pain and suffering were the only emotions i could find,
her inimicality towards me were so strong,
that i couldnt think of life and life could'nt think of me anymore.

 

I continued to submerge in darkness,
where torture had become my fate,
and the blood i shed every night for her had become luscious,
i beg her to kill me for once and for all,
but she still plans to keep me alive,
till she does not find her new bait.

Seeping through the pores of time,
where there was darkness that all i could see,
did'nt know where i was going,
i did'nt know through which space i was moving,
but then darkness became the regular scene of my eye,
and well adapted to black was I.

 

Continued to drown in the illusions,
visuals injected with shadows of my mysterious past,
a past i couldnt recollect myself,
a past which was very obscure...

 

Time passed,
so contained to myself,
almost believed no one ever existed..
to evolve into memories in my mind....
i was secluded .....so far away.....
and the dreams i dreamt...very horrid.....pure macabre.

GO AWAY!! GO!!!!
is all i screamed..
was all i ever said....
everything around me so dusky and murky,
voice of the black hounds tearing through my ears,
...........couldnt figure out what was happening...
i dug my hands in the soil in anger...
i hit something hard beneath,
its been long since i had an urge to explore,
i dug viciously...and saw a mirror,
i saw myself in the mirror.....
i wasnt the same as i used to be,
i looked more ..more monstrous and ugly.

 

If you ever asked me to prove my love for you,

i would always be ready for the test,

if u ever asked me to prove it by giving my life away for you,

i wont do it....cos i wanna spend the rest of my life with you,

i want you to share your thoughts,

your happiness,

your troubles......with me.

I wanna caress and love you...

If i just sat in front of you and stared at you the whole day,

and sometime in between you ask me to stop looking at you,

i wont do it....cos i feel life when i look at you,

i smell the fragrance while you are around....the fragrance of your charm,

which casts a spell on my senses.

Though my life would be a path of wrong things and decisions,

but when it comes to you....i want you to be the right thing in my life,

just you...you...you.